I've been considering my last post and I think I have an idea as to the reason why so many people seem to feel the need to get hitched and knocked up so early on in their lives. The fairy-tale perception of these things starts to wear thin with age. The idea of a wedding in the minds of a 13-year-old girl and a 33-year-old woman are very different. For starters, the one in the mind of the 33-year-old probably doesn't involve Disney characters or even a chariot; and the one in the mind of the 13-year-old most likely doesn't entertain the notion of a possible divorce years into the marriage. As people get older, their expectations from everything in life start to lose grandeur. Potential rock stars become waiters who play bar gigs; potential movie stars become telemarketers who criticize actors; potential professional athletes become retail managers who wake up each day cursing a strained meniscus from junior year; potential doctors and lawyers become big fans of House and Law and Order...
The race to find romance at some point becomes a race against apathy as well. Sometimes if you stop and pay attention you can feel yourself becoming more indifferent with the passage of time. It seems like sometimes the urgency many people feel exists because they want to find love before they stop caring to find it or stop believing in it altogether; so they date. Many spend years doing it. I'm not sure what is worse for one's "love morale"; a string of bad dating experiences or a lack of dating at all. I suppose that all depends on how bad those experiences are. As someone who doesn't "date" in the traditional sense of the word, I can't really cite personal examples of bad dating experiences. I guess I'd have even more to write about if I threw myself into the world of dating but my masochistic tendencies only go so far; and publicly making fun of a string of anonymous girls week after week would eventually get old... Right?
I don't think I'm going to do that, although I always thought it might be fun to hit one of those speed-dating gatherings just to get a chance to look desperation square in the face over and over again for five minutes at a time, but what does someone like me talk about on a speed date? I feel like each conversation would be an intervention in which I inadvertently cock-block the guy behind me by making the girl feel like he is chomping at the bit to jump into my seat and waste her time, just like I'm doing. The difference would be that I wouldn't be lying to her and he most likely would be. I feel like the only honest opening line you could use on a speed date would be; "Hello, I haven't fucked in a while and you probably haven't either. We're both running out of options; do I look like someone you could fuck?" Either that or; "I have kids and my ex is in jail. Is that okay?"
I digress. Back to the point...
On top of jading us to the wonders of romance, time also makes many of us want children. The fact that most things become less exciting as we grow older probably fuels this perceived need. For most parents, milestones in the life of an offspring become the biggest and most cherished moments in their lives. This new-found enthusiasm can serve as a boost to the psyche. Excitement is probably the most effective nullifier of depression that I have found; and what is more exciting for a parent than to see a child's first steps, hear the child's first words, or any part of the plethora of milestones in human development? I sometimes wonder if there is a certain amount of selfishness in raising a good kid... There has to be; and as I sit here pondering that topic I'm realizing that I should probably just dedicate a whole post to it at some point.
At this point in my life I am fairly certain that I don't want children, although I would love a nephew or niece. I'd be a fucking awesome uncle, and I have no problem proclaiming that to the world. The only thing that has stopped me from getting the old "snip snip" is the nagging possibility that I might eventually reach that point at which the only thing that will fulfill me is to see a little half-me climbing the ladder of human growth the way I once did (which actually implies that the little shit would spend his life underachieving and pissing away his talents), so maybe not exactly the way I have done it so far. That couples with the fact that I'm not sure the doc would take too kindly to snipping someone under the age of thirty. I feel like a vasectomy would be an emotional age accelerator. Knowing that my loads had no potential for procreation would be somehow detrimental to my self esteem, I think. I'm also not sure that the perception of a guy in his mid-twenties with a vasectomy would be a good one. So for now I guess my junk stays intact. That's right ladies, I can knock you up. ;)
I guess that a lot of this all comes down to fact that we are all trying to find something to live for. Most people are looking for fulfillment in other people, others have given up on that and turned to more reliable things - generally mood-altering in nature - while still others have given up even on that and checked-out early. Then there are the diamonds in the rough; the happily married with children. To those people I say "congratulations" and I hope that things never change in your world. To the rest of us: you woke up today. Stop bitching.
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