Sometimes it seems like children are actually smarter than most adults. They don't know as much, obviously, but they see more. Or maybe they don't see more, but they are not afraid to tell you what they see. As adults, a lot of us make believe that we can't see things in our lives that are glaringly obvious. Whether it's a developing relationship with someone outside of your marriage or relationship, a growing dependence on alcohol, or a subtle change in personality that would come with unpleasant or unsavory situations in your life, a child will immediately call you on it. They have bloodhound-like noses for changes in demeanor. If a child tells you something about yourself, it's probably true.
This pure, uninhibited ability to recognize things that should be alarming is something that we learn to suppress as we get older. The less we acknowledge disturbing realizations throughout each day, the calmer the waters remain on the surfaces of the delicate lakes that are our lives. What goes on beneath the surface is of no consequence as long as everything appears well to passing boaters. Those passing boaters are your coworkers, friends, your spouse or partner, your kids. As I said before, the kids seem to be the ones that will jump into the water and drag up things that you were happy to ignore. It's hard to say whether or not we should do the same thing as adults. Truth tends to breed chaos.
It might not be the best idea to express childlike honesty with everyone around you, but it is probably a good idea to be childishly honest with yourself most of the time. It's a shame that as we age and we develop complex emotions and desires, our brains simultaneously develop complex defense mechanisms to protect us from them. We never get the chance to truly face ourselves with complete vulnerability. The end result is that we can go years living lives that we never actually wanted and convince ourselves that we are doing great. The bills are paid, you have a great boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse, your car is running and you aren't hungry. It's all so good that to be unhappy with any of it would just be silly.
Sometimes living the dream just isn't the right thing. Everyone is so different that there is no conceivable way that we all want the same thing. We are led to believe over the early years of our lives that there are certain things that we are supposed to have by a certain point in our lives, so we convince ourselves that we need those things. I don't know many people who do not want spouses, homes of their own, and children, and it is fine and healthy to want all of that. I sometimes wonder, though, if some people would still chase those things if they had never been taught to want them.
I think that many times, in regards to many things, it takes having something to make you realize that you don't want it. In that way, I suppose we do remain like children. We always want the next thing; the next date, the next step, the next commitment the way we wanted the next toy or the next video game as children. It's only when we get our hands on these things that we ever stop and say, "okay, now what?" It all comes down to the chase. In order to feel alive, we need to be chasing something. Our ancient ancestors chased berries and buffalo, today we chase milestones and marriages. Whatever your trophy, life loses some of its zest once the hunt is over.
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