A very drunk man approached me at a bar and asked me if I have faith. He was skinny and had the posture of a buoy on a breezy lake. Being fairly sloshed myself, I told him that yes, I have faith in a lot of things. I already knew that this man was going to try to change my outlook on Heaven and the Earth. I gave him a minute to digest my words as he blankly stared through me and allowed the gears to turn in his drowning brain. He clarified his question to me.
"Do you have faith in something up above?" he asked me. At this point I could tell that his intentions were pure and harmless so I actually felt a little guilty for my opening smartassery. I looked at him in the eyes and knew that I was about to disappoint him, but I continued regardless.
"To be completely honest with you," I said, "no, I don't." I felt something for this man that was somewhere between pity and kinship, and I can't really explain why. Maybe he just has a good soul or some horse shit like that, but I felt the need to be honest with him. I saw a flicker of sadness cross his face and continued. "I think that it is up to us as individuals to look out for each other and make sure that the world doesn't go to hell." I guess looking back, it's not the most profound thing I've ever said but I was drunkenly on my heels in the first place so I think I did okay, considering. The look that came across his face was as if someone had just revealed to him that he was the sacred bearer of the great secret meaning of life. I could have sworn that I saw a golden light wash across his countenance for just a second as he absorbed my acute wisdom.
He smiled, shook my hand and introduced himself as... fuck, I don't remember. He then proceeded back to his seat where he was confronted and escorted out of the bar by an employee. I don't know what he did to get kicked out of a dive bar before I enlightened him, but I hope that he has been saved. Praise the Lord Baby Jesus.
Dude, seeing as how I raised you, and seeing how I did not die from cancer like they told me I would, I would think that you had just a little faith. Do you really think that all the fucking poison that was pumped into my veins and the crispy fried skin I got from 30 radiation treatments did the trick???? Sorry to disagree with you so wholeheartedly, but, my only son, I feel that you HAVE witnessed what faith and God can do. As to whether you want to admit it or not, well, that is between you and the Lord Baby Jesus. Amen!
ReplyDeleteMom, in my mind your survival and recovery are a testament to your strength and resilience. For me it doesn't prove whether there is or is not a higher power, it just proves that you are the strongest woman I have ever known. I would never call your faith into question or doubt the power that it had in getting you through all of your tribulations.
DeleteThanks, Dorian. I wasn't trying to bash your beliefs. I just have such a strong faith in God that I want it for you too. My resilience comes from a place that can only be divine, because I was not taught this by my parents. I am proud that as YOUR mother, I have raised an intelligent, fearless man, and I applaud your insights. I am also impressed by your writing style, and am looking forward to your next rant. I'm sure I will have a strong opinion on it, and I am glad that we have a relationship that allows us to lovingly agree to disagree. You sure do rock my world on many levels, my son! :-)
ReplyDeleteI enjoy the closure of this story. Also, can I just say I love that your mom just called you dude. Day made.
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